[Narrator]
Once upon a time, there were fifty goats grazing on a dump (Nyeeh! Nyeeh!).
Generally speaking, you’d describe them as pleasingly plump. (Nyeeh! Nyeeh!)
They devoured newspapers and dresses from Klein’s --
That was a treat – and cans of all kinds –
And lived in contentment on White Rose and Heinz,
On the dump.
[Spoken]
It was peaceful there on the dump, until one day, along came the army.
[Sung]
Every man an ornamented, decorated officer from West Point! (Nyeeh! Nyeeeh!)
Loaded down with medals, and they said, “This is the best point! Here!
And when the goats were surrounded on every flank,
Up rolled a ten-ton army tank:
The General!
With medals up to his chin.
The goats look around and they took the situation in. (Nyeeh! Nyeeh!)
They said, “Glory be, what a peachy collection of tin!” (Nyeeh! Nteeh!)
“Quiet,” said the General. “I’ll have you drawn and quartered!”
“Yes,” the goats said meekly, but how their mouths watered!
[The General]
Officers of the infantry,
Realize you’re about to be
Witnesses to a great experiment to save civilization.
(Echo): Save civilization.
The War Department decrees with a smile
That TNT is now out of style,
And we’ve got a bomb that’s destined to change the future of the nation.
(Echo): The future of the nation.
[The Troops]
Remember the stars and stripes forever,
Remember the fresh green hills of England.
Home of the brave and land of the free,
Emily Post and the BVD –
Remember they gave you the Croix de Guerry
The night you slept with Mata Hari.
Remember your women, remember your children!
Remember the way they raped your sister –
Remember the Battle of Waterloo –
Tippecanoe and Tyler, too –
Remember the amber waves of grain,
But most of all, “Remember the Maine!
[The Scientist]
Ever since I can remember,
I’ve wanted to be a soldier,
For I know, oh! I know so well
How the army can mold ya
Into men –
But then –
Although I tried my very best,
The expansion of my chest
Was never enough.
They said I didn’t have the stuff.
[All]
They said he didn’t have the stuff.
[The Scientist]
I became a microbe hunter.
Paul DeKruif made people love me.
Warner Brothers said they might make
A short subject of me –
Maybe full length.
Came the war,
Oh, bitter was my cup –
They wouldn’t take my option up,
And Warner’s got rough –
They said I didn’t have the stuff.
[All]
They said he didn’t have the stuff.
[The Scientist]
Back I went into my garret –
DuPont was my example –
Then one night, one night I had it,
I fed the first sample
To my ma.
(Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!)
She vanished, alas –
Became merely gas –
And left in a huff.
And then I knew I had the stuff.
[All]
Then he knew he had the stuff.
(The lights go out, there is a tremendous explosion, and when the lights go on ,there are uniforms and weapons strewn about the stage, and only the goats are still there, intact).
[Narrator]
That’s what happened to the devastating general and his men. (Nyeeeh! Nyeeeh!)
A matter of record – they were never heard from again. (Nyeeeh! Nyeeeh!)
So listen all you diplomats busy with notes –
Remember the story of “The General and the Goats.”
Once upon a time, there were fifty goats grazing on a dump (Nyeeh! Nyeeh!).
Generally speaking, you’d describe them as pleasingly plump. (Nyeeh! Nyeeh!)
They devoured newspapers and dresses from Klein’s --
That was a treat – and cans of all kinds –
And lived in contentment on White Rose and Heinz,
On the dump.
[Spoken]
It was peaceful there on the dump, until one day, along came the army.
[Sung]
Every man an ornamented, decorated officer from West Point! (Nyeeh! Nyeeeh!)
Loaded down with medals, and they said, “This is the best point! Here!
And when the goats were surrounded on every flank,
Up rolled a ten-ton army tank:
The General!
With medals up to his chin.
The goats look around and they took the situation in. (Nyeeh! Nyeeh!)
They said, “Glory be, what a peachy collection of tin!” (Nyeeh! Nteeh!)
“Quiet,” said the General. “I’ll have you drawn and quartered!”
“Yes,” the goats said meekly, but how their mouths watered!
[The General]
Officers of the infantry,
Realize you’re about to be
Witnesses to a great experiment to save civilization.
(Echo): Save civilization.
The War Department decrees with a smile
That TNT is now out of style,
And we’ve got a bomb that’s destined to change the future of the nation.
(Echo): The future of the nation.
[The Troops]
Remember the stars and stripes forever,
Remember the fresh green hills of England.
Home of the brave and land of the free,
Emily Post and the BVD –
Remember they gave you the Croix de Guerry
The night you slept with Mata Hari.
Remember your women, remember your children!
Remember the way they raped your sister –
Remember the Battle of Waterloo –
Tippecanoe and Tyler, too –
Remember the amber waves of grain,
But most of all, “Remember the Maine!
[The Scientist]
Ever since I can remember,
I’ve wanted to be a soldier,
For I know, oh! I know so well
How the army can mold ya
Into men –
But then –
Although I tried my very best,
The expansion of my chest
Was never enough.
They said I didn’t have the stuff.
[All]
They said he didn’t have the stuff.
[The Scientist]
I became a microbe hunter.
Paul DeKruif made people love me.
Warner Brothers said they might make
A short subject of me –
Maybe full length.
Came the war,
Oh, bitter was my cup –
They wouldn’t take my option up,
And Warner’s got rough –
They said I didn’t have the stuff.
[All]
They said he didn’t have the stuff.
[The Scientist]
Back I went into my garret –
DuPont was my example –
Then one night, one night I had it,
I fed the first sample
To my ma.
(Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!)
She vanished, alas –
Became merely gas –
And left in a huff.
And then I knew I had the stuff.
[All]
Then he knew he had the stuff.
(The lights go out, there is a tremendous explosion, and when the lights go on ,there are uniforms and weapons strewn about the stage, and only the goats are still there, intact).
[Narrator]
That’s what happened to the devastating general and his men. (Nyeeeh! Nyeeeh!)
A matter of record – they were never heard from again. (Nyeeeh! Nyeeeh!)
So listen all you diplomats busy with notes –
Remember the story of “The General and the Goats.”
Contributed by Bernart Bartleby - 2016/2/10 - 09:49
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Parole di Mike Stratton
Musica di Saul Aarons
Musica di Mike Stratton
Testo trovato su Labor Arts
Pochissime le notizie reperibilin Rete sul conto di questo duo composto da Saul Aarons e Mike Stratton. Furono di certo, seppur marginalmente, due songwriter e a New York fecero parte dell’organizzazione “People’s Songs”, lì fondata nel 1945 da Pete Seeger, Alan Lomax e Lee Hays, nata per promuovere le canzoni provenienti dal movimento operaio americano.
Saul Aarons e Mike Stratton non sono passati alla storia perché le loro canzoni erano lunghe e difficili, più adatte al teatro musicale o al cabaret… E poi mica tutti possono diventare dei Pete Seeger! Comunque il buon vecchio Pete di certo si avvalse del lavoro di tanti come Aarons e Stratton.
Questa canzone fu scritta mentre in Europa si “combatteva” la cosiddetta “Phoney War” (la “Strana Guerra”, o in francese “drôle de guerre”), 7 lunghi mesi durante i quali Inghilterra e Francia restarono a guardare, senza fare assolutamente nulla, la Germania di Hitler che si sbranava prima la Polonia e poi la Danimarca e la Norvegia. Solo quando le truppe tedesche marciarono su Belgio, Paesi Bassi e Lussemburgo, inglesi e francesi si resero conto della loro miopia strategica, ma era ormai troppo tardi: con l’ennesima blitzkrieg i nazisti occuparono la Francia (maggio-giugno 1940). Per la totale assenza di strategia degli alleati fu anche coniata, infatti, l’espressione sitzkrieg, la “guerra seduta”, anziché la “guerra lampo”.
Il coinvolgimento americano non era ancora all’ordine del giorno ma i generali si tenevano comunque in allenamento facendo esplodere qua e là qualche nuovo ordigno, anche se non ancora nucleare (ma mancavano solo pochi anni). Qui un tronfio generale, circondato da giovani ufficiali appena diplomati a West Point, e uno scenziato frustrato vogliono testare una bomba su di un isolotto abitato soltanto da capre voraci… L’epilogo è divertente.
Nei test militari sono spesso utilizzati animali vivi, basti pensare alle navi cariche proprio di capre e di altro bestiame che furono lasciate alla fonda intorno all’Atollo di Bikini durante i test nucleari americani lì effettuati tra il 1946 ed il 1958… Leggo anche che uno dei progetti (poi, per fortuna, non realizzato) degli “strateghi” militari inglesi durante la seconda guerra mondiale fu quello di disseminare le campagne tedesche di biscotti vegetali all’antrace, in modo da contaminare il bestiame, sterminarlo e provocare indirettamente anche la morte di quanti ne avessero consumato le carni o il latte… Un progetto folle, denominato “Operation Vegetarian”, per il quale furono confezionati 5 milioni di biscotti infetti che furono testati sull’isola di Gruinard, in Scozia. Le esche all’antrace furono incenerite alla fine della guerra, mentre l’isoletta scozzese è rimasta off limits fino al 1990, quando venne completata la decontaminazione.