There's someone on the phone ~ He's just post-graduation
from the nation's finest school of phone solicitation
his delivery is lame – his diction's the same
his name is so mundane it has to be a fabrication..
Is he on tape or live? ~ The answer is unknown
as he drones mulishly along -in that quasi-monotone
and as you wait for the gong, -you wonder how long
You'd spend in Purgatory for just hanging up the phone..
What's he trying to sell you?
What does his incessant soft soapy soliloquy actually portend?
Did you just hear him wrong, or did you comprehend
that what he's trying to sell you is a war without an end...?
A war without an end??
Do I look like some chump
Who just dropped off the applecart
'cause some serpent shouted “Jump”?
Do I look like Mr. Ed -with rocks in his head
believing he's a camel 'cause you just sold him a hump?..
A war without an end??
Do I look like some galoot
Who gets a kick from beating five-year-olds at Trivial Pursuit?
Do I need some phone-sale crook now
to tell me how I look now
Like I've got 80 billion bucks to spend...
On a war without an end??
You start to get the sense, ~the way this sales pitch smells,
that war is maybe ten percent of what this fellow sells,
and as you've probably guessed, -regarding the rest,
It might show up in war zones, sort of bubbling up from wells...
This guy would sell his mom for the oilspill off a rig
This guy would buy and sell Medusa ~ for the snakeoil in her wig
He goes oily to bed, -oily to rise,
and when his heart's on fire, oilsmoke gets in his eyes
And instead of thinking “How did my vision get so clouded?”
he perceives a world of cities without citizens,
Full of cars without drivers, on roads without a bend,
A world without an OPEC and a war without an end...
A war without an end??
Do I look like some rube
who orders sushi boats online -and eats pretzels from a tube?
Look what you're hawking, you hawk!
Your stock is a crock!
I wouldn't tilt my piggybank to get it out of hock!
Now just one cotton-pickin', oil-slickin', arctic-drillin' minute!
If it doesn't have an end, then you can't even win it!
If it doesn't have an ending, you moron, don't begin it!
(Stop squirming when I talk to you!)
A war without an end, ~ a train without a station,
A boat without floatation, a ladder without rungs,
A honeymoon vacation without a destination,
A song without a tune by a singer without lungs,
A megacorporation without a regulation,
plus a shadow government without a government,
and a 401K without a dividend,
A joke without a punchline,
and a war without an end..
A war without an end??
Do I look like some dweeb
who hangs around your oilwells -calling everyone “Sahib”?
I mean, “Where is the catch?” is what I would protest,
except I'm looking at the catch –
right now, the question's “Where's the rest??”
And as the oxymorons seethe forth from his all-consuming mouth,
if oxygen goes in his brain, it isn't coming out!
He's mouthing it by proxy, his oily orthodoxy
– now that's an oxymoron (if you take away the “oxy”)!
I mean, a war without an end??
You just don't get it, do you?
You should read the Constitution (or have someone read it to you)!!
You think that you can stammer a sentence without grammar,
and everyone will clamor for a seat without a view..
You say “A war without an end!!”
You think that's pretty smart,
but have you noticed that the end is the only decent part??
Let me float a concept by you: a war without a start!
That's what I would recommend..
Over a war without an end!
So, No thanks,
and don't call this line again.
from the nation's finest school of phone solicitation
his delivery is lame – his diction's the same
his name is so mundane it has to be a fabrication..
Is he on tape or live? ~ The answer is unknown
as he drones mulishly along -in that quasi-monotone
and as you wait for the gong, -you wonder how long
You'd spend in Purgatory for just hanging up the phone..
What's he trying to sell you?
What does his incessant soft soapy soliloquy actually portend?
Did you just hear him wrong, or did you comprehend
that what he's trying to sell you is a war without an end...?
A war without an end??
Do I look like some chump
Who just dropped off the applecart
'cause some serpent shouted “Jump”?
Do I look like Mr. Ed -with rocks in his head
believing he's a camel 'cause you just sold him a hump?..
A war without an end??
Do I look like some galoot
Who gets a kick from beating five-year-olds at Trivial Pursuit?
Do I need some phone-sale crook now
to tell me how I look now
Like I've got 80 billion bucks to spend...
On a war without an end??
You start to get the sense, ~the way this sales pitch smells,
that war is maybe ten percent of what this fellow sells,
and as you've probably guessed, -regarding the rest,
It might show up in war zones, sort of bubbling up from wells...
This guy would sell his mom for the oilspill off a rig
This guy would buy and sell Medusa ~ for the snakeoil in her wig
He goes oily to bed, -oily to rise,
and when his heart's on fire, oilsmoke gets in his eyes
And instead of thinking “How did my vision get so clouded?”
he perceives a world of cities without citizens,
Full of cars without drivers, on roads without a bend,
A world without an OPEC and a war without an end...
A war without an end??
Do I look like some rube
who orders sushi boats online -and eats pretzels from a tube?
Look what you're hawking, you hawk!
Your stock is a crock!
I wouldn't tilt my piggybank to get it out of hock!
Now just one cotton-pickin', oil-slickin', arctic-drillin' minute!
If it doesn't have an end, then you can't even win it!
If it doesn't have an ending, you moron, don't begin it!
(Stop squirming when I talk to you!)
A war without an end, ~ a train without a station,
A boat without floatation, a ladder without rungs,
A honeymoon vacation without a destination,
A song without a tune by a singer without lungs,
A megacorporation without a regulation,
plus a shadow government without a government,
and a 401K without a dividend,
A joke without a punchline,
and a war without an end..
A war without an end??
Do I look like some dweeb
who hangs around your oilwells -calling everyone “Sahib”?
I mean, “Where is the catch?” is what I would protest,
except I'm looking at the catch –
right now, the question's “Where's the rest??”
And as the oxymorons seethe forth from his all-consuming mouth,
if oxygen goes in his brain, it isn't coming out!
He's mouthing it by proxy, his oily orthodoxy
– now that's an oxymoron (if you take away the “oxy”)!
I mean, a war without an end??
You just don't get it, do you?
You should read the Constitution (or have someone read it to you)!!
You think that you can stammer a sentence without grammar,
and everyone will clamor for a seat without a view..
You say “A war without an end!!”
You think that's pretty smart,
but have you noticed that the end is the only decent part??
Let me float a concept by you: a war without a start!
That's what I would recommend..
Over a war without an end!
So, No thanks,
and don't call this line again.
Contributed by giorgio - 2013/3/21 - 12:27
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Lyrics & Music by Rick Burkhardt and Andy Gricevich
Album: Total Myshkin Awareness