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The Spanish Inquisition

Mel Brooks
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Mel Brooks

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All pay heed! Now enters his holiness Torquemada, the Grand Inquisitor of the Spanish Inquisition!
Torquemada; do not employ him for compassion
Torquemada; do not beg him for forgiveness!
Torquemada; do not ask him for mercy
Let's face it, you can't Torquemada for anything!

Let all those who wish to confess their evil ways and accept and embrace the true church convert now or forever burn in Hell for now begins the Inquisition!

The Inquisition (Let's begin!)
The Inquisition (Let's begin!)
We have a mission
To convert the Jews

We're gonna teach them (Wrong from right)
We're gonna help them (See the light)
And make an offer
That they can't refuse (that the Jews just can't refuse)

Confess!
Don't be boring!
Say yes!
Don't be dull!

A fact
You're ignoring
It's better to lose your skullcap
Than your skull

One gevalt!

The Inquisition! (What a show!)
The Inquisition (Here we go!)
I know you're wishing we go away
But the Inquisition's here and it's here to stay
(The Inquisition (oh,boy!
The Inquisition, what a joy
The Inquisition oy, oy!)

I was sitting in a temple
I was minding my own business
I was listening to a lovely Hebrew mass

The these Papist persons plunging
An they throw me in a dungeon
And the shoved a red hot poker up my ass!

Is that considerate?
Is that polite?
And not a tube of Preparation H in sight

I'm sittin' flickin' chickens
And I'm looking through the pickins'
And suddenly these goys start breaking down my walls

I didn't even know them
And they grabbed me by the scrotum
And they started playing ping-pong with my balls

Oy, the agony
Ooh, the shame
They make my privates public for a game?

The Inquisition (What a show!)
The Inquisition (Here we go!)
We know you're wishing that we go away
But the Inquisition's here and it's here to-

Hey Torquemada whadaya say?

I just got back from the auto-da-fe

Auto-da-fe? What's an auto-da-fe?

It's what you oughtn't do but you do anyway

Skat-skat-voodly-vat
Doodly-day

Will you convert? (No, no, no, no)
Will you confess? (No, no, no, no)
Will you revert? (No, no, no, no)
Will you say yes? (No, no, no, no)

Now I asked in a nice way
I said pretty please
I bent their ears
Now I'll work on their knees!

Hey, Torquemada, walk this way
We got a little game that you might wanna play
So pull that handle try your luck!

Who knows, Torque. You might win a buck!

All right!

Put it in the car

In the car

In the car

How are we doing Any converts today?

Not one! Nay, nay, nay!

We've flattened their fingers!
We've branded their buns!
Nothing is working!
SEND IN THE NUNS!

The Inquisition, what a show!
The Inquisition, here we go!
We know you're wishin' we would go away
So come on, you Muslims and you Jews
We got big news for all of youse
You etter change your point of views today
'Cause the Inquisition's here and it's here to stay!

23/7/2022 - 03:33




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