The Lament of the Last Tissue

Tony Smith
Lingua: Inglese

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The Lament of the Last Tissue
© 2020 Tony Smith

Thorough hand washing and sneezing into your elbow are among the instructions for stopping the pandemic.
Someone on the wireless
Said ‘Beware the Virus!’
But Cleopatra
Was wagging her tail
Her lead was hanging
The door was banging
And we were off
Just like every day

She loved her lark
In the local park
And soon she dragged me
By a flowerbed
I saw pollen floating
My nose was bloating
A sneeze was welling
Inside my head

My pockets were bare
No tissues in there
And so I wetted
My elbow instead
The dog was appalled
Her sniffing was stalled
She did not approve
This nasty new scent

Well she did her wees
All by the gum trees
And after the sneeze
A loo was my need
We crossed to the toilet
She wouldn’t go near it
So I went in
Relief there to seek

My elbow was dripping
But loo paper was missing
I washed my hands
But they would not dry
It took me forever
The door to get open
For without handling
The latch would not slide

When I finally got out
The dog raised her snout
And gave me a look
Would make a man cry
On isolation with me
She was not so keen
I well understood
Her reason why

There is a legend
A nail loosened
A horse was crippled
A kingdom lost
In this pandemic
If you lack tissues
You must sneeze
At your elbow’s cost

For your dignity’s slipping
When your elbow’s dripping
And even your dog
Might not love you
So when germs you fear
This advice please hear
Your dog and your elbow
Hope you have a tissue

inviata da Tony Smith - 30/3/2020 - 23:59

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