Oh once there was a desert war and it was a time of joy
For every one of my comrades there was a girl dressed up as a boy
Dressed up in camouflage uniform their presence was such a thrill
And all day long in that barren clime their sights were set to kill
The folks at home thought me really brave and sent me letters fine
And all afternoon I would sit in the shade and sip on cool white wine
And every one of the general staff was just like a father would be
They never once said ‘Forward, chaps’ but always ‘Follow me!’
But even the officers bold and brave were not the first to fight
For politicians before them went as they knew was only right
First came the Prime Minister in his suit accompanied by his wife
Then came the Minister of Defence and between his teeth a knife
There followed the Foreign Minister holding aloft the flag
Mumbling softly in his beard for he was never one to brag
And then in a fervour of patriot glee came sundry other men
Like the president of the R.S.L. clutching a rusty old Bren
The armaments makers waited in line to serve their country well
And on their heels came chaplains three a-praying the foe to hell
And right behind the men of the cloth were the bayers for blood and pride
All saying to us ‘Brave soldier boys we’ll suffer and die at your side’
The trenches were lovely five star jobs with spas and saunas en-suite
And scrumptious meals and a well stocked bar made a digger’s life replete
And when the time for action came we managed to serve with poise
For all of the enemies tanks and guns were really just harmless toys
The war it lasted only three weeks I was sorry to see it abate
It seemed the best time of my life and I made so many a mate
So we all decided to re-enlist in case the enemy rose
And cannot wait till the next big stoush – how war upon you grows!
So when my grandchildren pester me the tale of the war I’ll tell
It was just like a game played on teevee where everything goes so well
It seems like a game with one thing sure – victory goes to my team
But then I awoke in a pool of gore to find it a soldier’s dream
For every one of my comrades there was a girl dressed up as a boy
Dressed up in camouflage uniform their presence was such a thrill
And all day long in that barren clime their sights were set to kill
The folks at home thought me really brave and sent me letters fine
And all afternoon I would sit in the shade and sip on cool white wine
And every one of the general staff was just like a father would be
They never once said ‘Forward, chaps’ but always ‘Follow me!’
But even the officers bold and brave were not the first to fight
For politicians before them went as they knew was only right
First came the Prime Minister in his suit accompanied by his wife
Then came the Minister of Defence and between his teeth a knife
There followed the Foreign Minister holding aloft the flag
Mumbling softly in his beard for he was never one to brag
And then in a fervour of patriot glee came sundry other men
Like the president of the R.S.L. clutching a rusty old Bren
The armaments makers waited in line to serve their country well
And on their heels came chaplains three a-praying the foe to hell
And right behind the men of the cloth were the bayers for blood and pride
All saying to us ‘Brave soldier boys we’ll suffer and die at your side’
The trenches were lovely five star jobs with spas and saunas en-suite
And scrumptious meals and a well stocked bar made a digger’s life replete
And when the time for action came we managed to serve with poise
For all of the enemies tanks and guns were really just harmless toys
The war it lasted only three weeks I was sorry to see it abate
It seemed the best time of my life and I made so many a mate
So we all decided to re-enlist in case the enemy rose
And cannot wait till the next big stoush – how war upon you grows!
So when my grandchildren pester me the tale of the war I’ll tell
It was just like a game played on teevee where everything goes so well
It seems like a game with one thing sure – victory goes to my team
But then I awoke in a pool of gore to find it a soldier’s dream
inviata da Tony Smith - 27/1/2016 - 10:11
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© Tony Smith 2015