Full Metal Jacket [ Discursu do principiu ]
Davidekyo| Original | Sequenza originale del film |
| FULL METAL JACKET [ DISCURSU DO PRINCIPIU ] serg. Artmanni: Je allura, zinghiri, qua siamo nella casemma Sommaruca [1] di Catania. Qua v’inzegneremu a sparari ai cristiani oppuru a jttarici na bumma je farili scuppiari comu poppi-con. Siamo tutti devoti tutti? [2] Reclute: Cittadi’, Cittadi’! serg. Artmanni : Cchjù fotti ccu ssa vuci ! Semu tutti devoti tutti? Reclute: Cittadi’, Cittadi’! serg. Artmanni : Dal momento ca siti cca intra, vi putiti scurdari l’icchisibocchisi, a trijesissanta, a plaistesciun, a errittiessi. U primu ca vju jucari ccu i videoghemis pigghju u gioistic e c’u ziccu no nasu. Non si po viviri e non si po fumari. U primu ca ‘ncagghju mbrjacu o vivutu o fumatu, pigghju buttigghja cu tutt’i sicaretti e c’azziccu nt’aricchi. Ma soprattuttu si vuliti campari non vi dovete collegare a internet.U primu bestia ca trovu collegatu a fesbuc c’anzutta i fimmineddi ,m’a moriri […] quantu stimu a carn’i cavaḍḍu , pigghju i scarpetti pi jucari o palluni e vi ziccu n’un postu ca nun vi fazzu iri o bagnu a cacari pi du simani. Allora, mi avete capito? Siamo tutti devoti tutti? Reclute : Cittadi’, Cittadi’! serg. Artmanni : Siamo tutti devoti tutti ? Reclute : Cittadi’, Cittadi’! serg. Artmanni : Come ti chiami tu, soldato ? Recluta #1: Giuani Alliccavovvu serg. Artmanni : U sai ca na faccia pari na scimmia? Di uni veni, da giungla? Recluta #1: No, do Sangioggiu [3] serg. Artmanni : Ma quali Sangioggiu, tu scappasti di quarchi zoo. To patri si chiama Tazzan, je tu secunnu mia a matina t’asdrai di supra all’arbuli je ti vo mangi banani cu sta facci Recluta #2: C’a parratu iḍḍu ca pari King Kong! serg. Artmanni : Cu parrau ? Cu spacchju parrau, ah? Cu fu ssu pezz’i medda ,figghiu i nchiappata, bastaddu, pupp’i terra [4] ca parrau, ca sta pi moriri, u scannu [silenzio] serg. Artmanni : Ah, nuḍḍu fu ? Vu giuru ca vi fazzu mangiari a sabbia da Playa [5] pi misi, vi fazzu cacari a spiaggia libera. Uora v’abbersu pe festi. Hartman si rivolge alla Recluta #3 serg. Artmanni : Tu si curtu e chiḍḍi curti su tinti, quindi a statu tu … Recluta #3: Nossignore! serg. Artmanni : Allora cu fu, a befana ca […] nu bastaddu? Recluta #3: No sacciu, Signore! Recluta #4: Sono stato io! serg. Artmanni : Oh, bella vuci ! Chi successi, pi casu ti mungeru i baḍḍi cuann’eri nicu ? Je che sei, puppicello ? A cca intra e puppicelli ci mungemu’n limuni na testa Hartman sferra un cazzotto alla Recluta #4 che si accascia a terra serg. Artmanni : ti chjuiu i baḍḍi nta cascia. Ju ti scippu si ancora ci l’ai e ci jocu a ping pong. Anzi ‘nci pozzu jucari picch’i to baḍḍi su troppu nichi. Avanti, susiti i ḍḍocu, fuozza. Sugnu sicuru ca si macari vegetarianu, mi jocu a testa ca mangi sulu finocchi je banani Recluta #4: Nossignore ! serg. Artmanni : Semu sicuri ca ‘n ti piaciunu i banani ? Recluta #4: Nossignore ! serg. Artmanni : Cosa ti piaci ? Recluta #4: I cetrioli serg. Artmanni : U viri ca si puppu ? Recluta #4: Nooo. serg. Artmanni : Fammi scantaari ! Aaaaaaaaaaaa…… Jetta na vuciata e fammi scantari, sordato ! Recluta #4: Aaee serg. Artmanni : Nun fa scantari mancu i jaḍḍini accussì, cchjù forti, sordato ! Recluta #4: Aaaaaaaee serg. Artmanni : U sai chi sembri? ‘N puppu Recluta #4: Nossignore! serg. Artmanni, rivolgendosi alla Recluta #3 : Unn’è Biancaneve ? Recluta #3: Non sto capendo, Signore! serg. Artmanni : Mi vo fari cridiri ca tu non sei uno dei sette nani ? Recluta #3: Nossignore! serg. Artmanni : Non dire minchiate, tu si u figghju i Mammulu ! Recluta #3: Nossignore! serg. Artmanni : Je allora si u figghju i Brontolu ! Recluta #3: No,Nossignore! serg. Artmanni : Di cu spacchju si figghju ? Soldato, dimm’ immediatamenti comu si chiama ḍḍu becch’ i to pa’ Recluta #3: Iano, Signore serg. Artmanni : Je cuant’é jautu ? Recluta #3: Un metro e novantasei, Signore serg. Artmanni : Je non ti sembra stranu , non c’è qualcosa che non va datu ca tu si jautu un metru e un such'i frutta ? Recluta #3: Nossignore! serg. Artmanni : Minchiate, soldato, sei stato adottato oppure, se è come penso io, to patri je curnutu picchì to matri a tia ti fici cu i puffi, arricodditillu ! serg. Artmanni rivolgendosi alla Recluta #5: Tu chi si, parenti do porcu ? Recluta #5: Nossignore! serg. Artmanni : Mangitilla n’autra brioscia , ca ti viju sciupatu, surdatu, mi raccumannu, ah ? Ma quantu spacchju mangi ? Recluta #5: Pocu, Signore, pocu serg. Artmanni : Pocu, pocu, cchi significa ? Recluta #5: Sono a dieta serg. Artmanni : Je chi mangiano i porci cuannu sunu a dieta ? Recluta #5: Non lo so serg. Artmanni : Ma comu no sai ! Recluta #5: Mangio poco serg. Artmanni : Minchiate! Tu ti mangiassi macari a to mamma si u putissi fari. Recluta #5: No, Nossignore! serg. Artmanni : Je lo sai chi mi piaci mangiari a mia ? Recluta #5: Non lo so serg. Artmanni : Prosciuttu, je u sai comu je fatt’u prosciuttu ? Recluta #5: No, non lo so serg. Artmanni : Ccu a carn’i porcu, sordato, quindi ju uora ti scanno e ti faccio diventare un parmacotto, 3, 2 ,1, inginocchiati subito sordato Parmacotto. Affuchiti ! La Recluta #5 porta le mani al collo serg. Artmanni : No cch’i to manu, cch’i me manu, bestia ! La Recluta #5 afferra le mani del sergente che le ritrae subito serg. Artmanni : Chi spacchju tocchi ? Pigghia la testa e a metti cca Hartman stringe con la destra la gola della Recluta #5, strozzandolo serg. Artmanni : Dimagrirai, soldato, dimagrirai, voi addivintari prosciutto ? Recluta #5: Nno serg. Artmanni : Su ti fazzu rustutu, cu tia ci mangiam’un misi a casemma, soldato ! Recluta #5: Nno, La prego, nhnho serg. Artmanni, mollando la presa: Je allora cerca di scalare che ti voglio […] Soldato parmacotto,se questo mese non dimagrisci almeno 5 chili, ju ti fazzu fari a fini do farsu magru [6] Recluta #5: Va bene, Signore | 2 INT.BARRACKS-DAY (The Opening Speech) Marine recruits stand at attention in front of their bunks. Master Gunery Sergeant Hartman walks along the line of blank-faced recruits. serg. Hartman : I am Gunery Sergeant Hartman, your Senior Drill Instructor. From now on, you will speak only when spoken to, and the first and last words out of your filthy sewers will be "Sir!" : Do you maggots understand that? Recruits(in unison) : Sir, yes, sir! serg. Hartman : Bullshit! I can't hear you. Sound off like you got a pair. Recruits (louder) : Sir, yes, sir! serg. Hartman : If you ladies leave my island, if you survive recruit training ... you will be a weapon,you will be a minister of death, praying for war. But until that day you are pukes! : You're the lowest form of life on Earth. You are not even human fucking beings!You are nothing but unorganized grabasstic pieces of amphibian shit! : Because I am hard, you will not like me. But the more you hate me,the more you will learn. : I am hard, but I am fair! There is no racial bigotry here! I do not look down on niggers,kikes, wops or greasers. Here you are all equally worthless! And my orders are to weed out all non-hackers who do not pack the gear to serve in my beloved Corps! Do you maggots understand that? Recruits (in unison) : Sir, yes, sir! serg. Hartman :Bullshit! I can't hear you! Recruits (louder) : Sir, yes, sir! Sergeant Hartman stops in front of a black recruit, Private SNOWBALL. serg. Hartman : What's your name, scumbag? Snowball(shouting) : Sir, Private Brown, sir! serg. Hartman :Bullshit! From now on you're Private Snowball! Do you like that name? Snowball(shouting) : Sir, yes, sir! serg. Hartman :Well, there's one thing that you won't like, Private Snowball! They don't serve fried chicken and watermelon on a daily basis in my mess hall! Joker : Sir, yes, sir! Joker (whispering) : Is that you, John Wayne? Is this me? serg. Hartman : Who said that? Who the fuck said that? Who's the slimy little communist shit twinkle-toed cocksucker down here, who just signed his own death warrant? Nobody, huh?! The fairy fucking godmother said it! Out-fucking-standing! I will P.T. you all until you fucking die! I'll P.T. you until your assholes are sucking buttermilk. Sergeant Hartman grabs cowboy by the shirt. serg. Hartman : Was it you, you scroungy little fuck, huh?! Cowboy : Sir, no, sir! serg. Hartman : You little piece of shit! You look like a fucking worm! I'll bet it was you! Cowboy : Sir, no, sir! Joker : Sir, I said it, sir! Sergeant Hartman steps up to Joker. serg. Hartman : Well ...no shit. What have we got here, a fucking comedian? : Private Joker? I admire your honesty. : Hell, I like you. You can come over to my house and fuck my sister. Sergeant Hartman purnches Joker in the stomach. Joker sags to his knees. serg. Hartman : You little scumbag! I've got your name! I've got your ass! You will not laugh! You will not cry! You will learn by the numbers. I will teach you. Now get up! Get on your feet! : You had best unfuck yourself or I will unscrew your head and shit down your neck! Joker : Sir, yes, sir! serg. Hartman : Private Joker, why did you join my beloved Corps? Joker : Sir, to kill, sir! serg. Hartman : So you're a killer! Joker : Sir, yes, sir! serg. Hartman : Let me see your war face! Joker : Sir? serg. Hartman : You've got a war face? Aaaaaaaagh! That's a war face. Now let me see your war face! Joker : Aaaaaaaagh! serg. Hartman : Bullshit! You didn't convince me! Let me see your real war face! Joker : Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh! serg. Hartman : You didn't scare me! Work on it! Joker : Sir, yes, sir! Sergeant Hartman speaks into cowboy's face. serg. Hartman : What's your excuse? Cowboy : Sir, excuse for what, sir? serg. Hartman : I'm asking the fucking questions here, Private. Do you understand?! Cowboy : Sir, yes, sir! serg. Hartman : Well thank you very much! Can I be in charge for a while? Cowboy : Sir, yes, sir! serg. Hartman : Are you shook up? Are you nervous? Cowboy : Sir, I am, sir! serg. Hartman : Do I make you nervous? Cowboy : Sir! serg. Hartman : Sir, what? Were you about to call me an asshole?! Cowboy : Sir, no, sir! serg. Hartman : How tall are you, Private? Cowboy : Sir, five foot nine, sir! serg. Hartman : Five foot nine? I didn't know they stacked shit that high! You trying to squeeze an inch in on me somewhere, huh? Cowboy : Sir, no, sir. serg. Hartman : Bullshit! It looks to me like the best part of you ran down the crack of your mama's ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress! I think you've been cheated! : Where in hell are you from anyway, Private? Cowboy : Sir, Texas, sir! serg. Hartman : Holy dogshit! Texas! Only steers and queers come from Texas, Private Cowboy! And you don't look much like a steer to me, so that kinda narrows it down! Do you suck dicks! Cowboy : Sir, no, sir! serg. Hartman : Are you a peter-puffer? Cowboy : Sir, no, sir! serg. Hartman : I'll bet you're the kind of guy that would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the goddam common courtesy to give him a reach-around! I'll be watching you! Sergeant Hartman walks down the line to another recruit, a tall, overtweight boy. serg. Hartman : Did your parents have any children that lived? Pyle : Sir, yes, sir! serg. Hartman : I'll bet they regret that! You're so ugly you could be a modern art masterpiece! : What's your name, fatbody? Pyle : Sir, Leonard Lawrence, sir! serg. Hartman : Lawrence? Lawrence, what, of Arabia? Pyle : Sir, no, sir! serg. Hartman : That name sounds like royalty! Are you royalty? Pyle : Sir, no, sir! serg. Hartman : Do you suck dicks? Pyle : Sir, no, sir! serg. Hartman : Bullshit! I'll bet you could suck a golf ball through a garden hose! Pyle : Sir, no, sir! serg. Hartman : I don't like the name Lawrence! Only faggots and sailors are called Lawrence! From now on you're Gomer Pyle! Pyle : Sir, yes, sir! Pyle has the trace of a strange smile on his face. serg. Hartman : Do you think I'm cute, Private Pyle? Do you think I'm funy? Pyle : Sir, no, sir! serg. Hartman : Then wipe that disgusting grin off your face! Pyle : Sir, yes, sir! serg. Hartman : Well, any fucking time, sweetheart! Pyle : Sir, I'm trying, sir. serg. Hartman : Private Pyle, I'm gonna give you three seconds--exactly three fucking seconds--to wipe that stupid-looking grin off your face, or I will gouge out your eyeballs and skull-fuck you! One! Two! Three! Pyle purses his lips but continues to smile involuntarily. Pyle : Sir, I can't help it, sir! serg. Hartman : Bullshit! Get on your knees, scumbag! Pyle gets down on his knees. serg. Hartman : Now choke yourself! Pyle places his hands around his throat as if to choke himself. serg. Hartman : Goddamn it, with my hand, numbnuts!! Pyle reaches for Hartman's hand. Hartman jerks it away. serg. Hartman : Don't pull my fucking hand over there! I said choke yourself! Now lean forward and choke yourself! Pyle leans forward so that his neck rests in Hartman’s open hand. Hartman chokes Pyle. Pyle gags and starts to turn red in the face. serg. Hartman : Are you through grinning? Pyle (barely able to speak) : Sir, yes, sir! serg. Hartman : Bullshit! I can't hear you! Pyle (gasping) : Sir, yes, sir! serg. Hartman : Bullshit! I still can't hear you! Sound offlike you got a pair! Pyle (gagging) : Sir, yes, sir! serg. Hartman : That's enough! Get on your feet! Hartman releases Pyle's throat. Pyle gets to his feet, breathing heavily. serg. Hartman : Private Pyle, you had best square your ass away and start shitting me Tiffany cuff links... or I will definitely fuck you up! Pyle : Sir, yes, sir! |
[1] caserma Sommaruga, via Valdisavoia, 1 a Catania centro. A volte fiction, parodia, realtà si intrecciano, si confondono, si rincorrono, si inverano a vicenda. Ciò che è accaduto in quella caserma 5 anni dopo la realizzazione del doppiaggio proposto presenta delle analogie, sorprendenti . Un videoclip sollecita ancora la domanda: è più vera la realtà, la fiction o la parodia della fiction?
[2] È il grido ricorrente durante la processione di S. Agata, patrona di Catania. Il 5 febbraio una massa impressionante di catanesi accorre sovrapponendo tradizioni religiose popolari con retaggi pagani. I capicoro urlano a squarciagola “Siamo tutti devoti tutti?”, domanda che inderogabilmente non ammette che una risposta sola. I devoti rispondevano sino a non molti anni fa: Cittadini, cittadini, ma per sopraggiunte esigenze di intellegibilità, il meme si è tramutato in “Cettu, cettu!” / certamente.
Arduo comprendere la risposta delle reclute ed apprezzare la parodia per chiunque non sia vissuto a Catania.
[3] Sangiorgio : Multi-Quartiere densamente popolato e degradato, associato alla malavita, a causa di politiche del territorio, disaccorte e opache se non corrotte, nella zona meridionale di Catania. Dire che si vive o si proviene dal Sangiorgio crea ipso facto una barriera sociale e un’etichettatura di contiguità con tipi e ambienti poco raccomandabili.
[4] Puppu: polpo, a Catania è il termine più usato per indicare l’omosessuale maschio
[5] Playa: Una volta era una spiaggia bellissima, lunga e larga, nella parte sud di Catania
[6] Piatto tipico siciliano, di origine angioina e aragonese : rotolo di carne farcita arrosto