A year ago we had a dream,
To great heights we’d ascend.
We’d start a Middle Eastern war,
All troubles there we’d end.
The area’s old theocrats
Would welcome freedom’s bell,
They’d all become good democrats,
Saddam would run like hell.
Palestinians would deal,
Terrorists would fade away,
A quick victory we’d garner,
Usher in a bright new day.
Oh it’s true, old friends, you warned us,
" This is foolish," you exclaimed.
And our reasoning, you stated,
Was deficient, nay, hare-brained.
But the world’s one superpower,
Such advice can just eschew.
That’s exactly how we played it,
Now, however, we need you.
Occupation’s kind of costly,
It could make our people fret.
So we’d like some of your money
To reduce our deficit.
And, oh yes, your soldiers, too,
May be called upon to die.
To pursue our noble visions
Casualties are sometimes high.
Why, you say, should you now help
With this nasty bailout?
When we played the shoot-up cowboy,
Played the bully, played the lout?
The answer is quite simple
You’ll accept this backup role,
For unless you come and save our butt,
The world’s sucked down this hole.
To great heights we’d ascend.
We’d start a Middle Eastern war,
All troubles there we’d end.
The area’s old theocrats
Would welcome freedom’s bell,
They’d all become good democrats,
Saddam would run like hell.
Palestinians would deal,
Terrorists would fade away,
A quick victory we’d garner,
Usher in a bright new day.
Oh it’s true, old friends, you warned us,
" This is foolish," you exclaimed.
And our reasoning, you stated,
Was deficient, nay, hare-brained.
But the world’s one superpower,
Such advice can just eschew.
That’s exactly how we played it,
Now, however, we need you.
Occupation’s kind of costly,
It could make our people fret.
So we’d like some of your money
To reduce our deficit.
And, oh yes, your soldiers, too,
May be called upon to die.
To pursue our noble visions
Casualties are sometimes high.
Why, you say, should you now help
With this nasty bailout?
When we played the shoot-up cowboy,
Played the bully, played the lout?
The answer is quite simple
You’ll accept this backup role,
For unless you come and save our butt,
The world’s sucked down this hole.
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